Growing up in the South, I'm no stranger to seeing people be racist. What never ceases to surprise me, though, is how, as a white person, other white people think it's appropriate and okay to tell me about their racist leanings. It's like we're all members of a secret club, and because I'm white, they assume I'll be down with their bullshit. Two examples of this spring to mind immediately.
I used to go to a water aerobics class twice a week. I eventually stopped because it was at 6:30am and that's just crazy, but while I was going, I enjoyed it quite a bit. There were about 25 women who would attend regularly, many of them older black women. We'd always joke around and give the trainer a hard time about kicking our asses, and it was an all around good time. One morning while waiting for the pool to open, an older white lady came up to me and we start chatting. Suddenly, she expressed exasperation at how some of the women are just so loud during class. She said with that slight whisper, leaning forward so no one else can hear. While she never specifically told me it was the black women who were being so loud and bothering her, it was clear to me that this was a secret white people club moment and she was subtly trying to gain my approval. I told her that I loved how everyone was boisterous. She looked betrayed.
Something else happened today, and it was much more overt. My roommate and I finally got to the Indian buffet that just opened up near our house (lamb on the buffet? What?!?). As we're about to enter the place, a middle aged white lady comes out of the Dollar General next door and walks up to us, arms full of bags. Here's how it went down:
"Will you watch me until I get into my vehicle?"
"Uh.... sure?"
We were really confused, until we looked over and saw an Indian gentleman leaning up against his car smoking a cigarette. His car was parked right next to hers. Suddenly, the panic starts rising in both of us: Does this guy know what's happening? Why did we agree to do this before asking why? Why can't I bring myself to say something to her now? And, for the love of god, why did she assume that we'd understand why she was afraid?
It should be mentioned that neither I nor my roommate are particularly menacing folks. There's no way she really thought we could have protected her against an attacker, but that wasn't the point, was it? The point was that she was racist and assumed that we were racist, too.